To me, sexuality is independent of personality, sure your sexuality may influence you toward certain choices, such as “will I make out with this woman?”, or “do I want to go home with this guy?” Of course, I mean your sexual orientation is unquestionable. Now, the quotation marks around ‘queer culture’ and ‘community’ are there on purpose and I’ll explain why There is no real and intrinsic queer culture. What I’m seeing frequently, especially when confronted with large numbers of individuals who consider themselves a part of the perceived “queer culture”, is young, flamboyant, homosexual men who believe themselves to speak for the whole “community”.
To imply that all members of a group fit a stereotype is offensive because stereotypes and reality are not related.Since this is the first blog I’ve ever run (properly that is, not like my Tumblr, which is just reblogs of posts, pictures, et cetera that I like) I’m uncertain of whether or not this is an out of left field topic to begin with, but I’d like to elaborate on something that has been bugging me for some time now. Maybe they will and maybe they won't fit that stereotype, but regardless if they do or don't they are no less a member of that group nor is their anything wrong with anybody for fitting or not fitting a stereotype. That means that just because someone is in a group that is defined by a stereotype that does not mean that they will be able to possess that stereotype. A group of individuals are not defined nor related to any stereotype that has been thrusted upon them. Assuming that an individual belongs to a specific group just because they fit a stereotype that is pushed upon that specific group does not mean that they are actually a member of that group.
There is no issue if you are flamboyant and a gay man, but it is not related because the flamboyance of a person does not dictate their sexuality. Flamboyance is not directly related to being a gay man even if there are gay people that are flamboyant it doesn't mean that evey gay person is flamboyant nor does it mean that every flamboyant person is gay. Just use your common sense and you have a pretty good chance at not offending someone and if you are unsure your best bet is to not say it. Also a lot to do with how you express the term (the meaning is entirely different if you say it in a demeaning and an attacking manor opposed to saying it as a general statement). If you are not LGBT+ you may want to try avoiding reclaimed slurs unless you are referring to an idividual's or a group's identity when those particular people have specifically expressed that they are comfortable being labeles as that term.
The thing is that even though some people in the LGBT+ community do not see these terms as offensive some do and navigating who will and won't take offense is tricky. There are reclaimed slurs, the most common example being "queer," that some people actually identify as.
If you want to be an ally do not use these terms. Some of these terms include homophobic or transphobic slurs (f*g, tr*nny, ect.) that people just throw around and defend their actions by saying they are "not meaning it in an offensive way." Well we cannot deny that these terms are offensive by their simple definition and using them is showing a support of that. There are so many terms that are commonly used in our society that are pretty ignored that many people of the LGBT+ community find highly offensive.